Weddings Redefined

I was sitting with clients last week and we were talking about the flow of their gay wedding in Boston.  I have this four page questionnaire I go through a few months before the wedding with our big wedding clients.  The conversation went something like this:

Me:  Are you having a first dance?
Them:  Nope
Me:  Are you having anything tossed?  Garter and bouquet are the typical things.
Them:  No
Me:  Are you dancing with your parents at all in any formal, announced way?
Them:  No
Me:  Are you cutting anything on the dessert display (this wedding has no wedding cake)?
Them:  No

All of these are fairly common answers when we're planning a gay wedding, though.  After all, those are traditional elements and many of our clients love the opportunity to be non-traditional and reinvent what weddings should look like!  And you completely have permission to do so!

The problem with those answers is that when we take out so many things, there is a lot of dead space and time.  The guests get bored and heaven forbid, the wedding ends early.  I believe it's very important to add things back in that are conversation starts and memory makers...

Here are some examples that we've experienced, have recommended or are recommending:

• photobooth (the obvious example)
• drag kings/queens 
• some dance performance (fire dancer, salsa dancers, tango dancers, burlesque etc) 
• caricature artist 
• casino 
• psychic 
• cigar bar (if the venue allows it) 
• aerial artist

The experience doesn't have to detract from the wedding or all the time spent dancing.  If it's a performance, keep it short, 1-2 songs MAX and keep it upbeat and appropriate.  

What are you doing to add some conversation starters and entertainment to your wedding?

I'm so excited to finally share this beautiful real wedding with you.  I had to hold off because it was published in this issue of Destination Weddings and Honeymoons magazine and magazines require that real weddings not be published anywhere else until the issue comes out.  We are proud that this wedding was that mainstream wedding magazine's first same-sex wedding.  

So, the story...this is the story of Deb and Michelle.  They met online and promptly fell in love, and literally within months were engaged and calling 14 stories, from Columbus, Ohio, to plan their wedding.  Their vision was an intimate and relaxed wedding weekend experience on Cape Cod, with only about a dozen guests, all of whom were traveling in to share the joy.

We promptly suggested one of Cape Cod's most spectacular vacation rentals, a stunning 7 bedroom property, and they booked it immediately.  We orchestrated airport shuttles down to the Cape.  14 stories did all of the floral design.  Each guest room had a small floral arrangement, a welcome bag and the guests' name on a calligraphed door sign.  We arranged beautifully catered dinners on Friday and Saturday evenings, including a fun Friday night on the deck with s'mores and snuggies.  The entire experience was relaxed, elegant, intimate and fun for all and captured perfectly by the incredible photography of JAG Studios.

Robbie and Allen live in California and are competing to win $100,000 towards their wedding in the Crate and Barrel Ultimate Wedding Contest.  These two grooms are legally marrying in Massachusetts with a big celebration afterwards in California.

You can vote for them here!


Professional photos by Prideful Engagements.

Note:  these grooms are not our clients so we have no investment in their win, other than to see a gay couple win the contest for the first time!

Every year we work with about 40-50 couples who are looking to legally marry in Boston, for just a small ceremony.  Those who book the Destiny packages can expect photos like these beautiful ones of Bernadette and Lori.  These ladies traveled to Boston from Maryland for a wonderful wedding experience with some friends and family.  We arranged for their hotel, hair and makeup, limo and more.  

Here are some highlights from their ceremony in the Public Garden.  Aren't those outfits incredible?  I love Lori's custom suit (inspired by Ellen's own wedding suit).  Bernadette's dress is absolutely stunning!  They are such a beautiful couple!






Boston gay wedding photos by Cheryl Levine.

A lot of the same-sex weddings we plan are dinner party style - that is, little to no dancing, with a real focus on the food, beverage, conversation and elegant ambiance.  These weddings are so intimate, and while there's always an extraordinary, formal meal, the atmosphere remains so casual and upbeat because the group is small, mostly knows each other and there's no pressure at all.  Everyone can just be themselves and have a good time.  Doesn't that sound great?

With these weddings, the ceremony is typically short and sweet, with  most guests standing around.  The ceremony is important, the most important part, but a formal ceremony doesn't always lend itself to the atmosphere these couples are trying to create.

We created a beautiful wedding just like this on the Cape last September.  The photos will be published in a magazine so we can't give too much away but here's a little teaser...


Photo by Jag Studios

I'm in Phoenix this week at a conference called The Special Event Show.  I led a workshop this morning called "Traditionally, at a Gay Wedding..."  When I lead these workshops, my goal is to help people in the wedding industry around the country learn about gay culture and gay weddings so that LGBT couples have an easier time with their planning, no matter where they are.  

I think for couples, too, it's good news.  I've trained 200+ vendors in the year or so I've been leading these workshops and these vendors are super excited to work with LGBT couples.  Their enthusiasm gives me a lot of hope that the wedding industry will stop being so "bride" focused in the years to come...

Anyway, already this year there's been marriage equality legislation introduced in Rhode Island and Maryland, and because of the political shifts that occurred in those states during the last election, there's a really great chance gay marriage will come to Rhode Island and Maryland.  Also, it appears that civil unions will come to Illinois (the governor promises to sign that bill next week) and we may even see some marriage equality in New York before the year is out.  Will 14 Stories plan your gay wedding in Newport?  Heck yes, we'll be your Newport gay wedding planner.  They have the most amazing ocean-side venues.

My wife Jen is from Maryland's Eastern Shore and I have clients who are actually moving there later this year.  I can't wait to plan my first wedding in Maryland (Jen would LOVE that!) so 14 Stories will totally be your Maryland gay wedding planner!

We have big plans for 14 Stories this year (our SEVENTH year in business!), and if marriage equality does in fact come to New York, you can bet we'll be there to plan those gay weddings as well.  It's my home state.  We'd never miss that opportunity.

I know the best is yet to come for LGBT couples and you can count on us to be there every step of the way.

Where are you planning to get married?

It's been over a year in the making but my first book Gay Wedding Confidential is now available for sale on Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com.  I can't believe it!  I wrote it and published it myself and am so proud to bring my years of experience as America's first gay wedding planner to print!

Meg and Sarah's three day wedding extravaganza at Chimney Corners Camp was last weekend and we're exhausted but exhilarated!  It was a fabulous weekend with perfect weather and I can't wait to show you the good photos.  In the meantime, here's a sneak peek from my cameraphone and the Jessica's Country Flowers' blog.  Jessica was responsible for that gorgeous floral design!

This past weekend, a small ensemble from the Boston Gay Men's Chorus sang a few songs at my clients' same-sex wedding ceremony and reception.  What a joyous sound!  My clients even danced their first dance to "A Love that Will Never Grow Old" from the Brokeback Mountain soundtrack.  You can listen to that sound clip here...

I see a lot of first dances and this one had me in tears!

This is the second time this year that a Gay Men's Chorus has performed at a clients' wedding.  The Miami Gay Men's Chorus sang "Heaven" as the processional and "For the Longest Time" as the recessional in July.  It's just such a fun way to bring energy into the room - a Chorus serenading YOU!


(non-professional photo by me)

Are you planning to have a Gay Men's Chorus sing at your wedding?

We are so pleased that the extraordinary editor of Eco-Beautiful Weddings Magazine, Katie Martin, chose one of our clients' weddings to be featured in the Summer issue.  

Taylor and Lauren were married last September and their wedding photos are on pages 88-91 of the magazine - check it out!